Speed Limits Gone
Police Chief Announces End to Enforcement

Do you think that announcement would result in more people driving over the speed limit? Or do you think fewer people would push past the limits?

I think it’s pretty clear that driving speeds would rise — that habitual speeders would go faster and that occasional speeders would become more habitual.

I’m guessing you’d agree with me that any action like this by the police chief would be a big problem. I further bet you’d hope for a quick reversal to the new policy.

What About Limits in the Classroom?

Yet I’ve seen something very much like this action taken by teachers in their classrooms.

It happens when a teacher announces a rule, maybe something like, “The next person who speaks without first raising her or his hand will have to sit by me for the rest of class.”

Then, a couple minutes later a child speaks out of turn. Now we’re expecting some sort of action by the teacher. But the action never comes. The teacher does not follow through on the threatened penalty.

What’s going on?

An Idle Threat

Many times when a teacher fails to follow through with a threatened penalty, it’s because the teacher just can’t bring himself or herself to actually penalize a child for inappropriate behavior. The teacher may have a “soft” spot that brings on bad feelings if a threat is actually enforced.

Certainly it’s great for teachers to have a soft spot for kids. It indicates a love for kids that helps create a nurturing environment — a safe place — where kids can learn and mature.

But when that soft spot extends to a point where a teacher cannot follow through on enforcing a limit, it is quickly recognized by the children in the class as an idle threat.

And an idle threat is like a headline that reads:

Classroom Limits Gone
Teacher Announces End to Orderly Classroom

The more that threats are made but not enforced, the more children will come to understand that real limits are mostly non-existent.

Then if your classroom has any children who naturally test limits, you’re in trouble. The children’s realization of your enforcement policy is an open invitation to push past your stated limits and look for your actual limits.

If you want to maintain an orderly classroom — one that nurtures learning in a fun and memorable way — you’ve got to say what you mean AND mean what you say.

In part 2 of this 4 part series, we will look at the difference between harsh discipline and consistent enforcement of limits.

In a hurry? You can download this entire article as a PDF file here. Or you can read ahead to part 2.

To help you learn to enforce limits in a gentle, consistent way, I want to list some hurdles you many face with suggestions about how to deal with them. Prayerfully consider them and ask God to help you overcome any hurdles that you find present real challenges to you.

1. Old Habits — If you’re not used to enforcing limits, your first attempts to do so may make you feel uncomfortable. In turn you’ll find it easy to revert back to familiar ways and be tempted to let inappropriate behavior slide.

But swallow hard and set your mind to tolerating the discomfort of your new ways of following through with enforcing your limits. Remind yourself that each time you do this, it will get easier. Also, stay focused on the fact that an orderly classroom is good for everyone, including the student on whom you are enforcing limits.

2. Fear — As we touched on earlier, you may fear that if you begin enforcing limits, the children in your class will come to see you as a harsh, joyless disciplinarian.

While this is certainly a possibility, you can avoid this becoming a reality. What it takes is for you to commit yourself to remaining calm and in control of your emotions as you enforce limits. As much as possible treat your enforcement actions nonchalantly. If you can keep your emotions under control, you’ll be much more likely to avoid harsh behavior.

Don’t let fear hold you back. The advantages are worth the risk.

3. Failure with Early Attempts — You may try being consistent and find that your attempts are ineffective. There are two dynamics possibly in play. If your class is used to inconsistency, it will take time for them to adjust to your new way of enforcing limits. At the same time it may take practice for you to get good at taking your new approach.

Don’t let your disappointment in some early failures keep you from continuing to try. Just remind yourself that proficiency in any new skill takes practice.

4. Difficulty with Extremes — Maybe you have a personality that tends to deal in extremes. If you try to enforce limits, you may find yourself being too harsh. But if you back off, you may find yourself enforcing almost no limits.

Just like the previous item, practice will improve your ability to take a more balanced approach.

As you try to enforce limits, if you find yourself starting to lose your cool, pause a few seconds and focus on regaining your composure. Then as calmly as you can, gently but persistently follow through on enforcing your classroom limit.

5. Lack of Energy — Enforcing limits can be a real drain on energy, especially if your class has several children who constantly challenge your authority.

If you find that trying to maintain an orderly classroom is sapping your energy, you should feel free to ask for help. Don’t be afraid that asking for help makes you look weak. And don’t feel bad if your request is met with disappointed surprise.

Just keep in mind that some classes are harder to control than others. And some teachers have a more natural ability than others to control a class.

So what?

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. But what’s important here is to make your classroom the best learning environment you can. And if that means you need someone to help you keep order with some of the children, then ask for help. And if you actually get the help, make good use of it.

6. Unreasonable Limits — Sometimes we can have limits in mind that are impractical, either because the limits we want to impose are too hard for the age of children we are teaching, or because we have children whose family situations or background make it very hard for them to be able to follow our limits.

Therefore, I suggest that you give careful thought to the limits you have in mind. Clearly you need to minimize distractions in your classroom so that learning can take place. But consider if you’re expectation will be for everyone to learn everything that you are teaching. Or is it more reasonable to expect that every child will avoid being a distraction but will not necessarily learn what you teaching.

Ideally we want every child to learn everything we have to say. But if you set limits that are too strict and then end up focusing most of your attention on enforcing them, you’ll get very little actual teaching done.

Don’t misunderstand me. I’m all for setting challenging expectations for children, but I also believe we need to be realistic. Some classes can live with stricter limits than others. My rule of thumb is this. If one or more children are persistently a challenge, I try to set classroom limits that focus on keeping those children from being a distraction. By setting a limit at this level for the entire class, I only have to focus on enforcement when children’s behavior distracts others. I then rely on presenting my lessons in a fun and interesting way to try to engage every child’s mind in what I’m teaching.

7. Inappropriate Penalties — It’s important that any penalties you impose to enforce limits are appropriate. There are three ways to ensure that they are appropriate.

First, they must be strong enough. If a penalty is too light or is something that does not matter to the student on whom you are enforcing the limit, the penalty will not provide sufficient motivation to stick to the limit.

Second, penalties must not be too severe. An overly harsh penalty will build resentment and discourage a child from any desire to stick to a limit. Your goal should be to penalize just strongly enough to to motivate the student to want to stay within the limit.

Third, penalties need to be something you can actually carry out. For example, if you decide to make a student stay after class but his parents are not willing to wait around for his penalty time to expire, the penalty will have very little effect. In the heat of trying to enforce a limit, it’s easy to overreach with the penalty you choose and then find yourself in a situation you can’t enforce. So choose carefully

Your goal as a teacher of children in your church is to create a classroom with a positive environment that nurtures learning. It’s easy to undermine this environment if you set limits but then enforce them in a hit-and-miss way.

If you are inconsistent with the way you enforce the limits you set, you’ll be like a police chief who announces the end of speed limits.

Consistency is the key when it comes to keeping order in your classroom. Be consistent in the way you enforce your limits. You’ll create a fun and positive setting for effective learning.

Did you like this article? You can download this entire article as a PDF file here.

I know that enforcing limits with “soft” discipline can be done, because I used to be somewhat heavy handed in my classroom discipline.

But as I’ve grown older and worked through various classroom situations, it’s become clear to me how limits can be enforced while taking a soft but firm approach to handling inappropriate behavior.

I’ll give you an example of a technique I sometimes use. It’s something I do when I’m helping out in the classroom of another teacher.

Let’s say there are two boys sitting next to each other who are being a distraction. They are whispering, showing things to each other, handing stuff back and forth, and laughing. To say they are ignoring what the other teacher is doing is an understatement.

The Goals for This Situation

To handle a situation like this, I have several goals in mind:

1. The distraction needs to be mostly or completely eliminated. Ideally I want the boys to focus their attention on the material being taught, though I don’t necessarily expect to be able to make this latter part happen.

2. If possible I want the boys to end up sitting next to each other in their same seats. This is the end goal. In between I may end up temporarily moving them from their seats.

3. I want to minimize how much my actions disrupt the whole classroom. Not only do I want to disrupt — as little as possible — what is being taught while I interact with the boys, I want to avoid creating a prolonged bad mood among the other children. If I end the distraction of the boys but leave the other children unable to focus, the result will defeat the purpose of my actions.

With those goals in mind, my first step is to approach the boys and quietly tell them something like, “You guys are being very distracting. You need to settle down and stop talking.”

Then I might move back from them to give them some “space” to either settle down on their own or to continue to act up. But I also keep a close eye on them.

If their distracting behavior continues, I decide which boy I think is the primary instigator. I then approach him and make him come and sit by me. I do all of this discreetly to avoid unnecessary embarrassment. Being discreet also minimizes how much I disrupt the class.

With this step I have ended the distraction. But I have not done much to encourage either boy to take responsibility to control his own behavior. At this point the boys are kept from distracting behavior only because they are physically separated.

So my next step is to let the boy sit next to me for a few minutes. Then I attempt to “strike a deal with him” (though I don’t actually say that). I ask, “Would you like to go back and sit by your friend?”

Almost always the boy nods an anxious “yes.”

Then I say, “OK. I’ll let you go back. But … if you start talking or messing around again, you’ll have to come back here and sit here by me again — for the rest of the class time. Do you want try that?

Assuming he agrees, I send him back to his original seat. And I’ve been surprised how well this “deal” works. Every once in awhile it makes no difference. But often the two children will stay acceptably still for at least 15 to 20 minutes and many times for the rest of class.

Of course if the distracting behavior starts up again, the boy ends up sitting with me for the rest of the class.

Enforcement without Being Harsh

With this method I’ve avoided harsh measures while still setting and enforcing limits. Further I’ve provided a positive reward for good behavior: keep from messing around and you can sit by your friend. This has also challenged the boy to develop a little more self-control while in a challenging situation — keeping acceptably still and quiet while sitting next to his friend.

Now I’d like to tell you that the practice of gentle, determined consistency is easy. That once you’ve become aware of it, there’s nothing hard to doing it.

But it’s just not that easy. Unless you are a person who naturally is used to enforcing limits consistently (and if you were, I bet you wouldn’t be reading this article), the fact is that it will take time and concerted effort to learn to do this.

In part 4 (the final portion) of this series we’ll look at challenges you may face as you start enforcing limits more consistently.

In a hurry? You can download this entire article as a PDF file here. Or you can read ahead to part 4

Now I’m guessing that at this point some of you reading this article are experiencing a negative reaction to this idea of limits and penalties. You may be picturing a harsh disciplinarian running a joyless classroom with an iron fist, a classroom that builds resentment in children and interferes with their learning.

But here’s the reality. It may be common for consistency in limits and penalties to walk hand-in-hand with harsh discipline. But they are not inseparable companions. Order in your classroom can be maintained through gentle but determined consistency.

So what does gentle, determined consistency look like?

Well, first off it has an absence of harshness.

But to understand what an absence of harshness is, we first have to understand what it means to be harsh.

What It Means to Be Harsh

I think harshness consists of any or all of the following things:

1. Yelling or screaming at a child.

2. Punishing a child when the child had no reasonable way of knowing that his behavior was out of bounds.

3. Singling out a child and her behavior in a way that creates excessive embarrassment.

4. Punishing a child for behavior he can’t control.

5. Belittling or berating a child with insulting words.

6. Punishing a child with penalties that are excessive when compared to the inappropriate behavior.

7. Acting with an attitude in class that feels to the kids as if you’re always angry or in a bad mood.

So the absence of all of these things is what I have in mind by an absence of harshness.

Now here’s the deal. Even with all of these things excluded from your classroom, it is still possible to set limits and enforce them consistently.

The Proper Role of Limits and Penalties

But I don’t want to be misunderstood here. I don’t mean to be saying that limits and penalties are the primary way to maintain order in a classroom. There are many positive things besides limits and penalties that you can do to help children stay within the limits you set. The greater your ability to keep children’s interest through the activities you do in class, the easier it will be for you to keep your class orderly.

I certainly think positive activities form the foundation for your your classroom order.

But in this article I am focusing exclusively on those times when limits are crossed and you must take direct action to keep your classroom order intact.

So if you have trouble consistently enforcing limits — and I believe that’s the biggest problem that many teachers have when they fail to maintain classroom control — I expect that a big part of your trouble comes because you fear that you’ll come across as a harsh disciplinarian.

And if that’s your fear, it’s important for you to really get ahold of this idea I’m presenting — that’s it’s possible to enforce limits through gentle, determined consistency while maintaining a positive, learning atmosphere.

So I’d like to suggest that you look through the “harshness” list above again and firmly fix in your mind that limits really can be enforced without harsh actions.

In part 3 of this 4 part series we’ll look at an example of what gentle, determined consistency looks like.

In a hurry? You can download this entire article as a PDF file here. Or you can read ahead to part 3.

Video 1 - Just Keep Holdin’ On

This older gentleman looks like he’d feel a whole lot better about going under if he can just keep that right hand anchored somewhere above the surface.

Video 2 - West Virginia Extreme Baptism

This isn’t the laugh-out-loud kind of funny. It’s more of the I-can’t-believe-these-guys-did-this kind of funny. Notice they need two good-sized guys doing the baptisms. I imagine with water at this temperature, it’s the only way to make sure everyone goes all the way under. Brrrr!

Video 3 - Fish Baptism

Well … I guess there’s more than one way to leave a baptismal.

Video 4 - Cannonball

And … Of course, there’s more than one way to enter a baptismal.

For example, in many churches children and parents go their separate ways at the start of church time and only come back together after they’ve had their separate spiritual training. There is very little or no opportunity for parents to take an active role in their children’s spiritual education during church time.

At the same time it is also true that there are many positive aspects to segregated, age-focused spiritual training, so I’m not suggesting that this model of church life needs to change.

And frankly, many parents probably don’t mind this set up. After all parents can feel inadequate when it comes to explaining spiritual truths to anyone.

When Opportunity Knocks …

But I would like to point out that some types of spiritual training present an opportunity to engage parents and their children in a common learning activity.

And I think baptism preparation can easily be made into one of those integrated teaching times, one where parents can be pretty easily included in their children’s preparation for baptism. This is true because of the special importance of baptism in a believer’s life. This special importance can provide motivation for parents to be willing to set aside time to be involved. It also can motivate them to move out of their comfort zone and take a more active role in teaching than they might normally take.

In this article I’m going to focus the discussion around issues of most interest to church staff and volunteers. However, I hope that you parents who have read up to this point will “listen in” to see why your involvement is a valuable contribution to your child’s baptism preparation.

Parental Involvement Has Its Challenges

As a children’s education worker, you are probably aware that parental involvement in your classroom can sometimes create some tough situations. Some children will be less attentive and more distracting to others when their parents are in the room. Some parents may interject comments into the discussion that confuse the point you are trying to make.

And having parents present can create a good deal of stress for you due to the “fish bowl” effect. This is the feeling you get that everything you’re doing in the classroom is being examined under a microscope.

Finally, some parents may not desire to be involved. Worse, they may attend the classes but go away feeling their presence was a waste of their time.

6 Reasons for Parental Involvement

Yet, despite these difficulties, here are 6 reasons why I think it’s worth the extra stress and effort to encourage parents to take an active role in your baptism preparation class.

Baptism presents a unique opportunity to help families bond more strongly as they participate together in a landmark celebration in the life of a believer. Obviously the act of accepting Christ and His free gift of eternal life is the most significant decision any person can ever make (if you are not familiar with this concept of obtaining eternal life, please visit this link for more information). So bringing the members of a family together to explore the deep meaning of baptism and how it celebrates this important decision will help strengthen that family through a memorable classroom experience that is shared.

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Having parents be present during your class helps underscore, in the minds of your children, the significance of the topic. This in turn can help create a greater sense of appreciation for the great gift God has freely given to us.

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Parents will better be able to see for themselves if their child happens not to be ready for baptism. Your job will then be easier if it becomes necessary to suggest to parents that their child would be better off waiting to be baptized.

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Unsaved parents who participate may get saved as a result of hearing the material you present to their children. Wouldn’t that be a joy?

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Parents who are saved may experience a reawakening of some of their earlier joy over their salvation. This would be a powerful inducement to worship God for an experience that they may have grown to take for granted.

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Parents from the different families who participate may experience a greater sense of community as they participate in the shared experience of preparing their children for baptism.

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Families have ample opportunity to go their separate ways both inside and outside of church. Baptism presents a unique opportunity for you to help encourage a greater sense of bonding for families. Despite any challenges you face for including parents, I would urge you to seriously consider taking advantage of the many pluses to including parents. Your efforts in this regard will broaden the impact of your ministry to children.

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This concludes our Child Baptism Preparation Mini Newsletter series. Whether you are a parent, a church volunteer, or a church staff member, I hope you’ve found the information engaging and useful.

He was a puppeteer who regularly used puppets in his ministry to children. While looking for materials to teach baptism, he came across my booklet, and he realized the story it contained could easily be adapted to a puppet presentation.

Some of his enthusiasm spilled over to me as I realized that Joey’s Baptism had inspired someone to take a creative and fun approach to baptism preparation.

Now … realistically … spicing up baptism preparation in such dramatic fashion (pun intended) is a big undertaking — and not practical for everyone.

But if you have a creative itch just urging you to take on an out-of-the-ordinary approach to baptism preparation, here are some ideas that will help you scratch that itch of creativity:

Do a Dramatic Reading
Choose three children to read Joey’s Baptism out loud. Have one child act as a narrator, another as Grandpa, and a third as Joey. They can either stand at the front of the classroom to read, or they can read by standing next to their seats. If you have enough children in class, you can switch up the reading assignments at chapter breaks.

By the way, if this method is dragging along because your readers are not as strong as they might be, you can take the part as narrator to help keep things moving.

As a variation on this approach, you could have one person act as narrator and then divide the remaining children into two groups. The first group can read Grandpa’s part in unison and the second can read Joey’s part.

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Have Adults Act Out the Story
If you’ve got a couple of outgoing adult volunteers, they could learn and act out the parts of Grandpa and Joey. A third adult can act as narrator to fill in any parts that aren’t clear from the acting alone.

And if you’ve got some volunteers who are really ambitious, you could film the action and create a fun presentation of part or all of the booklet narrative to watch on TV. The additional advantage to filming the presentation is that you have a resource that you can reuse with future preparation classes.

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Finger Puppets
One Christian education director who purchased Joey’s Baptism told me that she was planning to have the children in her class use finger puppets to act out a baptism.

Perhaps there are other parts of the story where you can have children do role playing, maybe with finger puppets or maybe by acting with a partner. Another idea would be to have your class act out a portion of a church service that includes a few people pretending to get baptized — sort of a practice run. Anything that gets your children physically involved in the story or in the concepts being taught will more strongly reinforce the concepts they are learning.

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A Puppet Show
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the method that was described at the start of this article. The man who told me about his idea for the puppet show made one easy but significant change when he did his show.

He changed the character of Grandpa into Grandma. This change made it easier to create distinct voices for the characters. And this, in turn, made it easier for the children to keep track of who was saying what.

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Mix Several Approaches
Instead of just using a single one of the ideas above, choose two or more and apply each to one or two chapters.

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Getting Carried Away
I do want to add a bit of caution here. When you come across creative ideas for spicing up your teaching, there are two common but not very helpful reactions.

One is a feeling of guilt. The guilt comes from a conflict between what you think would be good and what you know you can’t do. On the one hand you see the tremendous possibilities that a more elaborate presentation holds for enhancing your children’s learning process. On the other hand you can be painfully aware that you don’t have the time or energy to create such an elaborate presentation.

The other feeling is one of unbridled excitement. You may feel like a child in a candy shop with so many possibilities, you’re not sure when to stop. It’s easy to get caught up in a flush of exhilaration and take on much more than you can reasonably do. If you take on too much, you run the risk of either making things too hard on yourself. Or you may end up with a presentation that has lots of rough edges, because the number of things you included prevented you from doing any of them well.

The antidote for both of these reactions is to take on only as much as you can comfortably get done AND to decide not to feel guilty about how much you do. Remember that while our role in baptism preparation is certainly important, the ultimate responsibility for your children to learn about baptism lies with God through the Holy Spirit; we are only his helpers in this regard.

And as His helpers we do best when we do a quality job within the limits we face rather than a poorly prepared job that overwhelms us. God specializes in filling in the gaps when we “do our best but don’t stress.” As Paul describes in 2 Corinthians 12:9,

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Hopefully this article has given you some ideas to satisfy that creative itch you may be feeling. Any little bits of spice you add to your baptism preparation will help your class to absorb your teachings more deeply and retain the material easier. While you’ll want to be careful not to overcommit, don’t be afraid to try some things that are a little out of the ordinary, some things that do more than go strictly by the book.

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Coming Up: In our next mini newsletter article we will cover
Child Baptism - 6 Irresistible Reasons To Include Parents in Preparation Classes.

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“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.”

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This quote by Professor of Computing Science Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut (alternately also attributed to Baseball Great Yogi Berra) elegantly sums up the clash between the way things ought to be and the way things really end up being.

And there may be nothing more frustrating than to have someone insist that you do things one way — a way that in theory sounds good — when you know that in practice that particular way will never work.

In an earlier article I mentioned how important I thought it was to allow plenty of time for preparing young children for their baptism. I believe that at least three or four separate class sessions should be used to adequately teach children about the significance of their baptism.

And my baptism preparation booklet for children, Joey’s Baptism, was written to be used during four separate class sessions.

However, I’m also a realist. And I understand that the reality of your situation may not give you the opportunity to follow my suggested approach.

To make Joey’s Baptism as useful as possible for as many situations as possible, I’ve come up with a list of modifications to reduce the amount of time needed to go through the booklet. These changes allow your child’s baptism preparation to be done in only one or two class sessions.

I’ve made these changes in such a way that the most essential elements of baptism preparation are still present in the lessons.

The changes are as follows:

Changes to Chapter 1

1. Delete the Family Activity (p. 1).
2. Keep only the first four paragraphs of the Story (pp. 1 - 2).
3. Delete Question 1 (p. 3).
4. Delete both versions of Activity 1 (pp. 4 - 5).

Changes to Chapter 2

1. Delete the Family Activity (p. 6).
2. Replace the first paragraph of the Story (p. 6) with the following: “A couple hours later Joey sat on the couch in his grandpa’s living room.”
3. Delete the last 2 paragraphs of the Story (p. 8).
4. Use all Questions (p. 9).
5. Use both versions of Activity 2 (pp. 10 - 11).

Changes to Chapter 3
Delete everything in this chapter.

Changes to Chapter 4
Use everything in this chapter.

Changes to Chapter 5
Use everything in this chapter.

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These changes are fairly easy to make, and they still leave a fun and engaging baptism preparation presentation.

So if your situation only allows you to give a short preparation for baptism, don’t sweat it. Just do your best, within the limits you face, to create a meaningful and rich experience for children preparing for baptism. Then trust God to use you effectively to create a good work in those children.

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Coming Up: In our next mini newsletter article we will cover
Safety First! Baptizing Children with Special Needs.

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That was me telling my wife that I couldn’t find the item she had asked me to get. This particular time it could have been the sugar on the storage shelf downstairs.

Or the steak in the freezer.

As I’d mount the top stair, she’d look at me with incredulous disbelief (and probably in her imagination roll her eyes) and say, “I’ll go look.”

And I’d smile — knowing that she’d come back slightly red-faced … empty handed … explaining why she had thought the item she wanted would have been where she said.

I usually only had to wait a couple minutes.

“What’s this?” she’d ask, holding up the item I somehow missed. “It was right up front.”

I’d sheepishly answer, “Well if you’re going to hide it right up front, how do you expect me to find it?”

Blind Spots

Missing the obvious. Also known as blind spots.

It’s a malady we parents sometimes suffer from when it comes to our kids.

And that’s why one of my biggest concerns while raising my kids has been:

Will I recognize if my kids are professing a faith in Christ that looks good on the outside but lacks the fundamental heart change on the inside that leads to eternal life?

Whether or not our children have embraced a genuine conversion determines their readiness for baptism. The difficulty here is that sometimes our children profess a belief or attitude simply because they know we want them to. Left to their own devices, they might adopt something different.

In a case like this, where they are merely telling us what we want to hear, their profession is built on sand. It is unlikely to hold up when the storms of maturing intellect challenge their beliefs.

Now — let me pause a moment. It is not my purpose to raise undue alarm, to cast unnecessary doubt in your mind about your child’s belief in Christ.

But I would like to offer some ways that you can take a fresh look at your child’s profession of faith — to give you confidence that your child’s faith is her or his own. And that your child is ready for that next step of baptism.

The most obvious first step is to see if your child can explain, in her or his own words, what salvation is all about. The key components I’ve looked for in my children’s explanations are an understanding that

1. We all sin,

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2. We all need a savior,

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3. Christ came to die for us and take away our sin,

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4. We all must trust Christ to take away our sin,

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5. They themselves have made a decision to accept Christ’s gift of forgiveness by believing in him and his sacrifice on our behalf.

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(NOTE: If this explanation of having your sins forgiven is unfamiliar, here’s an in-depth explanation of how you can have your sins forgiven by God.)

Challenge Points

Beyond this step I think it’s helpful to try to go a little deeper in my assessment by gently challenging their understanding. I’ve done this very thing with my kids, not necessarily all at once, but over time by bringing up common misunderstandings of how a person gets into heaven.

I call this a “challenge point.”

Then I see how they respond to the misunderstanding. For example, I might say something like, “So do you think someone can get into heaven if they’re really, really good?” If they hesitate or answer yes, I take this as an opportunity to remind them of the Biblical view of salvation.

If a challenge point shows a misunderstanding, I don’t automatically assume their faith has not been genuine. I instead just take note of it as one indication of where they might be spiritually.

And I watch for a trend over time.

If their misunderstanding of some parts of salvation is in narrow, isolated areas, I still give them the benefit of the doubt that their faith in Christ is sincere and genuine and just in need of some clarification.

However, if their misunderstanding would turn out to be broad in scope, I would be open to the likelihood that they have not made a personal, heartfelt, properly understood decision for Christ.

What If Your Child Seems to Misunderstand Salvation?

If your child seems to show signs of not having yet made a personal decision for Christ, don’t be alarmed. It may simply mean that your child needs more time to mature.

At this point I would pray … and trust God to bring your child to a personal faith in Christ. I would also consistently and patiently continue to train your child in Biblical matters, making sure that the different parts of salvation are occasionally discussed. Don’t press hard here, but just keep the conversations matter-of-fact.

This technique of challenge points is the method I used in Joey’s Baptism to help ensure a child preparing for baptism has a Biblical view of salvation. In Chapter 4, Joey, the main character, says, “Why doesn’t everyone get baptized? That way everyone could be forgiven of their sins.”

It’s a question that young children might wonder themselves.

Joey’s grandpa responds by giving a Biblical view of salvation.

For children who see the error with Joey’s view, Grandpa’s explanation strengthens their own properly understood view of baptism.

For children who have an understanding similar to the view conveyed in Joey’s question, Grandpa’s explanation gently corrects their misunderstanding as it re-enforces the Biblical view.

This challenge point in Joey’s Baptism creates an important final check to confirm that a child really is ready for baptism.

It’s inevitable that we will have blind spots around some areas of our children’s lives. This comes from the natural bias we as parents feel toward our kids; how can we possibly avoid all bias when it comes to the little people we love so dearly. But adjusting our focus and engaging in some simple discussion with our children can eliminate one important blind spot. Before you have your child baptized, take a final check of your child’s spiritual readiness by reviewing her or his understanding of what it means to be a follower of Christ. This final check will serve your child well.

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Coming Up: In our next mini newsletter article we will cover
Baptism - Is There Really Any Point?.

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Over the course of a two or three different conversations, her mother gave me increasingly more details about the girl’s sudden interest. Her reason for wanting to be baptized was at first a little unclear. But eventually her mother figured out what the little girl found most interesting about baptism.

It was the baptismal. She was really excited about the possibility of getting into “the big tub” at the front of the church. Once her mother realized what was exciting the little girl, her mother decided that the little girl’s baptism ceremony should wait.

What’s the Earliest Age?

Of course, here’s the million dollar question: What is the earliest age that a child can be baptized?

First off, I think it’s fairly straightforward to show from the Bible that children can take part in meaningful spiritual activities. In Matthew 19:14, when some of Jesus’ followers tried to keep children away from Jesus, He said:

Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.

Additionally, in Luke 18:17 Jesus proclaimed:

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.

Wow. Faith that is acceptable to God is not hard to possess. It does not take deep understanding or intellectual prowess.

Rather it is a faith so simple that Jesus held up children as the best example of proper faith.

If children provide an example for proper faith, it’s clear that they can be capable of the kind of faith necessary to obtain salvation. And if a child can obtain salvation, then she or he can certainly be baptized.

What a Child Must Be Able to Understand

So then, what must a child understand to become saved?

I believe they must understand and accept 4 simple ideas:

1. He or she is a sinner (Romans 3:23).
2. Sin leads to death (Romans 6:23).
3. Jesus died on a cross and rose again to take away our sins (Romans 10:9).
4. Jesus gives eternal life to those who receive Him (John 1:12).

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(If these ideas about salvation are new to you, I’ve prepared a more detailed look at what the Bible teaches is the first step to true spirituality).

A child is ready for baptism if he or she has embraced the four ideas above personally. This in turn requires a child to be mature enough cognitively to understand what these ideas mean and to be mature enough emotionally to make a genuine decision to receive Christ.

If a child cannot grasp these four ideas, the child is not mature enough to have obtained salvation personally and is not yet ready for baptism.

Age Guidelines

Here are guidelines (but nothing more than guidelines) that I think can guide us in determining if a child is old enough to be able to comprehend the necessary aspects of salvation:

• Most four-year-olds are probably too young to be able to have a genuine conversion. Probably all four-year-olds will be perfectly capable of understanding that they sometimes do wrong things. However, very few will be able to understand in a meaningful way the seriousness of their sin; I doubt they can feel much real guilt and remorse. Without guilt and remorse, it will be impossible to understand our vital need for a Savior.
• Some five- and six-year-olds are mature enough.
• Most eight-, nine-, or ten-year-olds are mature enough, but a few may not be.
• Even if a child is able to comprehend salvation, a child may be too young to make a genuinely committed decision for Christ.

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We can see that the faith of a child can be adequate for salvation at quite a young age. However don’t be afraid to delay baptism for a child who may need just a little more time to mature. Each child will be different, and you’ll need to assess your child’s readiness individually. The ultimate test will be to see when your child has committed to a heartfelt and properly understood reliance on Christ to forgive her or his sins.

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Coming Up: In our next mini newsletter article we will cover
How Can I Be Sure My Child Is Saved?.

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